How much would you invest in 3D communication?

In days before telephones existed, I would imagine communication would have been primarily in the form of face-to-face or through letters. Surely important discussions would have taken place face-to-face as letters would take far too much time. The purpose of letters would probably have been to make announcements, communicate decisions and basically express non-urgent matters.

Then came the telephone. You can imagine the breakthrough this would have created. No need for certain travel. What could be done face-to-face could be now be done on telephone.

Today, we have emails. Some people find it far more easier to communicate by electronic mail instead of talking on the phone or even talking face-to-face. Granted, emails are cost effective and not as time consuming. You control your own time. No need to have appointments or time commitments. You decide you need to communicate something to someone, be it 2.47am in the morning, 8.02pm in the evening or 3.58pm in the afternoon, you just send an email not having to worry what time it would be when the receiver receives it and/or reads it.

Unfortunately, advancement of technology brings its share of challenges. The users of this technology all have different expectations and I’ve come to learn that far too many of us are being let down by this – not really understanding what the underlying cause is – easily blaming the ‘other’ party. Allow me to share a few observations:

·      Choice of sending emails instead of picking up the phone or calling up a meeting – Emails have their place. However, if you require instant replies, just because you choose to drop everything at the bling of your blackberry (ignoring everyone you’re present with) does not mean that everyone else does.

·      Engaging into heated debate or arguments via email – it all starts with one email. You receive a reply within a few minutes. You get agitated. You choose to reply instantaneously with a feeling of resentment or anger. The other party perceives your email in the wrong context. They send another email and before you know it, there is a long chain of emails. This can be made worse if more than one party is copied in. Group emails flying all over the place with no respect or regard of each other. How about picking up the phone and talking it out?

In my role as National Director for BNI, I frequently come across many such situations. Eventually I’m called in to mediate and resolve. When suggestions are made that face-to-face or phone is sometimes better than email the defence for use of emails is that everything is recorded! My take is this is just an excuse. People would much rather prefer to hide behind a screen and express what they feel in words instead of speaking out. Does this really solve the issues at hand?

·      Preference for use of email or phone instead of face-to-face. The case I frequently hear is this saves time and money. My question is :- when communicating via these media, are you 100% focused on the conversation at hand? I can recall many occasions when I’ve been on phone with someone but I can sense they are not fully connected with me. They might be in front of their computer, driving or with someone else.

I agree and understand, emails and phones have their place. We should utilize them fully but only for the purpose they serve. The reason BNI is so successful is because of the value it puts on face-to-face relationship building.

I have come to the conclusion that when communicating, emails are One-Dimensional – you express your thoughts and send them out via electronic mail. Phone calls are Two-Dimensional – at least there is 2-way instantaneous communication. Face-to-Face is truly Multi-Dimensional – not only is there 2-way instantaneous interaction but you also get to see the other person, their body language, their focus and attention and their expressions.

Next time you choose to send an email or make a phone call – ask yourself, what will you achieve in the long-term if you were to try the ‘long-cut’ instead?