Bijay Shah

Bijay Shah

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

THE 'SPIRIT' OF BNI, 'GIVER'S GAIN' & 'HAPPINESS'

Bijay Shah - BNI National Director
The guiding philosophy of BNI is ‘Givers Gain’. All our members know that. But what really does ‘Givers Gain’ mean? We say it’s another way of saying ‘what goes around comes around’ and we’re applying it in a business sense. Another famous quote is ‘if you can help someone get what they want, you’ll get what you want’. I have met hundreds of members over the last 5 years and I’ve come across many members who perhaps don’t fully understand what really ‘Givers Gain’ means. Givers Gain is NOT about:

·        Being necessarily charitable - You don’t have to give everything away to everyone in the hope that you’ll get back more. Only give if it serves your purpose. Giving does not only have to be to those unfortunate or having less than you. It’s about helping someone – whoever it might be – with a sense of purpose. It could be to a fellow family member, friend, associate, colleague, your boss, business partner, stranger on the road – just about anyone who you feel you would like to help.
·        Keeping Score – some people give with the expectation of receiving. Others give only conditionally. You scratch my back, I scratch yours. I believe this is operating in a mindset of scarcity as opposed to a mindset of abundance. If the expectation is of a financial nature than this can also be referred to a 'coin operated networking'
·        BNI or referrals only – this can be a lifestyle. You don’t have to be in BNI to live ‘Givers Gain’. I know some members who operate in so called ‘Givers Gain’ mode in BNI and switch it off outside of BNI. These are the people who are in the mindset of ‘doing’ instead of ‘being’. Neither is this only about business or referrals. Giving can come in many forms other than just referrals: time, support, care, respect, accountability, dignity, commitment etc. Dr. Ivan Misner – founder and chairman of BNI says people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care’.

Sometimes, you may feel that you’ve given enough and not getting back. Remember, the moment this thought occurs, you’re keeping score. I know it’s not easy – it’s the nature of humans. In my opinion, what you may be overlooking is that the ‘Gain’ does not necessarily come from the same source that you’re ‘Giving’ to. Analogous to BNI – the power of a chapter is that you may not necessarily receive referrals from the same person you give referrals to. In a very simple three party triangle, ‘A’ could give to ‘B’, ‘B’ to ‘C’ and ‘C’ to ‘A’ With more members in a chapter this gets complicated but it works! – only if everyone understands the power of this and works as a team. Within BNI you may be limited to the network, but how about outside of BNI? There is no formal team but I can assure you - living ‘Givers Gain’ is the true source of happiness and that’s ultimately what we’re ALL seeking in life.

Just ask yourself what’s your goal in life? Than ask your self ‘WHY?’ Keep on asking yourself ‘Why?’ We all have different goals and different ‘whys’ to begin with. As you unlayer those ‘whys’ it all comes down to ‘Happiness’.             

2 comments:

  1. Excellent observation and comments Bijay. Sounds familiar! :)

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  2. Thank you Bijay for sharing your thoughts.
    "As you unlayer those ‘whys’ it all comes down to ‘Happiness"...well said and I completely agree that every individual should look deep within and see his or her own"happiness" achievements. Sometimes a kind word to a friend brings more happiness to the heart and soul than a hefty cheque.
    Keep those blogs rolling in bro!!!!!

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